A Blast from the Past

A few Satudays ago, I had a bachelorette party. The night started with a nice dinner that lasted until midnight. After dinner, we went to a club where we had a table a 2 bottles of vodka waiting for us. The old me, would have said that it was a perfect night out with old friends. The new me says that I had a great time but I was ready to go home at 11:00 PM. I was sleepy and I wanted to take my heels off. Someone asked me what time was my curfew. I told her that I had no curfew but I had an early wake up call. I had 2 drinks and went home by 2:00 AM. The following day, I was exhausted and I started to think about how my life has changed since I became a mother. I could probably talk non stop for 2 hours about it. I felt like the oldest person in the club, even though I saw a few people that were older than me. Most girls were wearing mini skirts and dresses that are too short for my post-baby body. I used to wear things like that A LONG TIME AGO.  They are probably hidden in a corner in my closet. My closet is another subject that I could talk about forever. I'm not going to go there.

In the past year, I discovered that everything looks so easy from the outside. Babies look so cute in pictures and there are so many books to help with everything. However, it's not as easy when you have to do it. Everything that you say you will never do, you will do it because when you can't sleep. You will try everything!!!! Even the "bad ideas". If it works, you will do it again. I was criticized by several people when I started to co-sleep with Emma. Emma was 6 months old and she wanted to nurse all night long. I was beyond exhausted and I moved her to my bed. I laid on my side and I rested and even slept while she nursed. A few months later, one of the moms that criticized me (while she was pregnant) ended up doing the same and it worked. It might be the mother's warm body or just feeling company that makes the baby calm. I was very careful to never use blankets or items that can suffocate your child while he/she is asleep. I was also very careful not to have pillows next to her. Thankfully I was doing this when she was old enough to move. I would have been more nervous about it when she was a newborn because of SIDS.

I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I didn't have Emma. Would I be traveling non stop? or have a better position at work and working 60 hours a week? Would I still live in Tampa close to my family? I sometimes miss my old life. I got a hint of it that Saturday at the girls night out. It turns out, I don't miss going out or partying all night long. What I miss some days is having some time for me: doing my nails, my hair, getting a tan, going to the gym after work. Yes, I really said going to the gym! As much as I crave some "me time" I would not change any of that for the life that I have now. My family is what makes me happy. I have no regrets from the past or with the stage of my life that I am in. I will never be the same that I was years ago. I'm Emma's mom now and that fills my heart. 

Paid Maternity Leave Coming to the US?

Last week, I read that President Obama is trying to promote paid maternity leave. I support this idea 100% as a mother that had to take non-paid leave to take care of her baby. I had to get back to work when my baby was only 10 weeks old. This was one of the most difficult times of my life. I always wanted to get back to work after having a baby, but it was very sad to be away from her. I came back to work with my breast pump and thanks to a fairly new policy that allows women to pump several times a week, I was not in trouble for taking a 15 minute break every 3 hours. I'm lucky that I have a private office where I could have privacy and I also had a boss that was flexible about it. For those that don't know, the law also allows women to request a clean place to pump. Employers must provide a place other than a bathroom for nursing moms. 

I am amazed to see the amount of negative posts about moms getting paid during maternity leave. Thanks to the Family Medical Leave Act, employers should keep your job (without pay) open for 12 weeks. I only learned about this when it was my turn to stay home. It was tight even after saving and planning for my unpaid leave. It didn't help that my husband lost his job when my daughter was only 2 weeks old. Luckily, I had the short term disability insurance (6 weeks for a natural birth, 8 weeks for a c-section) and that was the only income that I got. Maternity leave is not a nice vacation. It is physical recovery for the mother sometimes from a surgery (c-section).  Don't forget about the newborn that requires constant attention and feeding. Before I was a mom, I thought that while the baby slept I could catch up on my reading. I had no idea what it was like to take care of a baby. 

The United States is the only developed Country that has a non paid maternity leave. Even in "poor" Countries like Colombia women get paid leave. I don't want people live off the system. Most people are afraid of those who will start having babies non stop to get paid leave. I'm sure there is a way to prevent; maybe not allowing new hires to take a paid leave or limit it to one paid leave every few years or even just increase the number of weeks that the short term disability insurance provides. It is hard enough for new moms to worry about how to take care of another person. We should not have to worry about how to pay the rent or take care of our basic needs when all of our time and attention should be given to our baby. I hope that this idea becomes a reality soon and that new moms can benefit from it. 

Weekend Cruise to Bahamas, Day 2

About 8 years ago, I went on a 4 day cruise to the Bahamas and I enjoyed it. However, after coming back I concluded that I would rather spend 4 full days in an island instead of just a few hours in each port. Since my priorities have changed so much, I now consider cruising a great option for traveling with kids. There are many things to do, food options just in case you have a picky eater like my daughter, a child care center (for kids older than 3) and when you get to a port you only need to bring the basics for the day. 

Our plan for the day was to spend the day at the beach at the Atlantis Resort. I had been there before but I wanted to return. My friend had never been there and Emma loves the beach. We paid $10 for the taxi from the port and $69 each (Emma was free) for the beach/hotel access and lunch. Emma absolutely loved the paradise lagoon inside the resort, she didn't want to go anywhere else. I wanted to go to the beach at least to see it but it was almost Emma's nap time and then it was time to go back to the ship. Having a stroller was not easy around the outdoor areas of the hotel; the ramps were far and the elevators sometimes didn't work. This was a relaxing day and I loved every minute.  

Paradise Lagoon

We took a taxi back to the port for $4 per person, we shopped for some souvenirs and rum cake in a store close to the port and headed back to the ship. We decided that we wanted to go to the sit down restaurant that night. The food was good and the service was great. However, the "difficult hour" of the day for a kid is typically around dinner time. I have to confess that thanks to YouTube and Baby Einstein videos I can eat dinner many nights. I had my ipad but with no internet connection I was not fully prepared to keep Emma entertained for that long. She didn't eat anything for dinner except a few pieces of banana. We went to bed early again and this was basically the end of our cruise. The next morning, we woke up in Miami and we needed to be out of our room by 7:00 AM. We stayed a little longer, until around 8:00 AM. On our way back to Tampa, I upgraded to first class for $45 and it was a completely different travel experience. I was exhausted by the time I came home; nonetheless, I was proud of Emma for being such a good traveler and of myself for traveling alone with her.